MOTM

oh, and you forgot the floods...  ;)

George - who lives in a similar situation in the winter

From: J. Larry Hendry <jlarryh@...>:

> I got this today from one of my regular "insert joke in e-mail" buddies.
> While I consider this sort of thing OT, I thought you guys might let me
> slide since the father of MOTM lives in Texas and the list is awfully
quiet.
>
>
>  Living in Texas
>
> Dear Diary:
>
> May 30th:
> Just moved to Dallas...Now this is a city that knows how
> to live!!  Beautiful sunny days and warm balmy evenings.
>  What a place! Watched the sunset from a park lying on
> a blanket. It was beautiful. I've finally found my home.
> I love it here.
>
> June 14th:
> Really heating up. Got to 100 today. Not a problem.
> Live in an air-conditioned home, drive an air-conditioned
>  car. What a pleasure to see the sun everyday like this.
>  I'm turning into a sun worshipper.
>
> June 30th:
> Had the backyard landscaped with western plants today.
> Lots of cactus and rocks. What a breeze to maintain.
> No more mowing lawn for me. Another scorcher today,
> but I love it here.
>
> July 10th:
> The temperature hasn't been below 100 all week. How
> do people get used to this kind of heat? At least it's kind
> of windy though. But getting used to the heat and humidity
> is taking longer that I expected.
>
> July 15th:
> Fell asleep by the pool. (Got 3rd degree burns over 60%
> of my body.)  Missed 3 days of work. What a dumb thing
> to do. I learned my lesson though. Got to respect the ol'
> sun in a climate like this.
>
> July 20th:
> I missed Morgan (our cat) sneaking into the car when I left
> this morning.  By the time I got to the hot car for lunch,
> Morgan had died and swollen up to the size of a shopping
> bag and stank up the $2,000 leather upholstery. I told the
> kids that she ran away. The car now smells like Kibbles
> and shits. I learned my lesson though. No more pets in
> this heat.
>
> July 25th:
> The wind sucks. It feels like a giant freaking blow dryer!! And it's
> hot as hell. The home air-conditioner is on the fritz and the AC
> repairman charged $200 just to drive by and tell me he needed
> to order parts.
>
> July 30th:
> Been sleeping outside by the pool for 3 nights now. $1,500 in
>  damn house payments and we can't even go inside. Why did I
>  ever come here?
>
> Aug. 4th:
> It's 115 degrees. Finally got the air-conditioner fixed today. It
> cost $500 and gets the temperature down to 85, but this freaking
>  humidity makes the house feel like it's about 95. Stupid repairman
> pissed in my pool. I hate this stupid city.
>
> Aug. 8th:
> If another wise ass cracks, "Hot enough for you today?", I'm going
> to strangle him. Damn heat. By the time I get to work the radiator
> is boiling over, my clothes are soaking wet, and I smell like baked
>  cat!!
>
> Aug. 9th:
> Tried to run some errands after work. Wore shorts, and sat on
> the black leather seats in the ol' car. I thought my ass was on fire.
> I lost 2 layers of flesh and all the hair on the back of my legs and
> ass. Now my car smells like burnt hair, fried ass, and baked cat.
>
> Aug. 10th:
> The weather report might as well be a damn recording. Hot and
>  sunny. Hot and sunny. Hot and sunny. It's been too hot to do
>  shit for 2 damn months and the weatherman says it might really
>  warm up next week. Doesn't it ever rain in this damn desert??
>  Water rationing will be next, so might $1700 worth of cactus
>  just dry up and blow into the damn pool. Even the cactus
> can't live in this damn heat.
>
> Aug. 14th:
> Welcome to HELL!!! Temperature got to 115 today. Forgot to
>  crack the window and blew the damn windshield out of the car.
>  The installer came to fix it and said, "Hot enough for you today?"
> My wife had to spend the $1500 house payment to bail me out
> of jail.
>
> Freaking Texas.
> What kind of a sick demented idiot would want to live here??
>
>
>
>
>
>
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