Mellotronists

Poor Lassie was forced into gender identification problems. As a puppy he  
was somewhat effeminate. His dream was always to go into show business. Sadly,  
his owners took him to the casting call for "Lassie," where he had to play a  
female. His dream was to earn the staring role in, "Rin Tin Tin. After several 
 years being forced to play a bitch, Arlin/ Lassie ran in front of a garbage  
truck and ended his life.
 
BUT... that wasn't good enough for Hollywood. No!!! They had to continue to  
castrate male dogs and call them Lassie. Lassie. Lassie....
 
Finally, in a bizarre twist of fate, Lassie the 6th turned on his master  and 
tore his face off.
 
Revenge is sweet.