Mellotronists

> > Note that the nervous guy who ran the Isle of Wight Festival looks
> > remarkably similar to Ian Faith, Spinal Tap's manager.
>
> You're right, Don, I knew he reminded me of someone.  He also
> participated in some Spinal Tap moments of his own making, such as:

There was a Channel 4 documentary on the Isle of Wight recently. The
drugged up hippies had *nothing* to match the unmitigated wierdness of
the islanders themselves. To say that they simply sounded and looked
like an inbred shower of snaggle-toothed banjo-playing retards with bad
haircuts and crossed eyes fails to encapsulate the sheer *Royston
Vaseyness* of the place.

[From memory]

One tweed-and-brinylon-wearing middle aged twenty year old organised the
'Decency Campaign' to stop the incoming music fans from the ravages of
drugs and intercourse. Looking as though the only chance of her getting
a shag was as part of a hot date at the Royal College For Investigations
Into Sensory Deprivation, she proudly announced how she had organised a
placard-waving march to dissuade the visitors from pumping chemicals and
foreign body fluids into themselves.

When asked about her own sexual values, she mentioned that 'she didn't
believe in it', thereby reducing her (likely) existence to something
less believable than the tooth fairy. Mind you, one look at her bearded
father and equally bearded mother revealed the source of her confusion.
The thought of these two Making The Beast With Two Backs with each other
was *far* less easy to believe in than Santa Claus and his reindeer.

The local minister was worried about the 'desecration of the island'
with the wild libidinous sounds of 1960s rock music. Mentioning that
there was 'no place for excessive drugs, drink or sexual liberation' on
the island, the interviewer cannily asked if there was any place for the
(relatively) vast amounts of money that would pour into the islands
microeconomy. A tortured, confused look came over his face, not unlike
that look that might overtake the countenance of a minister asked to
account for the literal view of biblical creation; I don't *actually*
believe it but I have to tell everyone that I *do*. His rapier-like
answer was to simply repeat that 'there is no place for excessive drugs,
drink or sexual liberation' on the island. Confusingly, he appended this
statement with 'I'm from Hull, you know'. The interviewer didn't move in
for the kill and ask about 'moderate' sexual liberation. A pity.

Another broadminded, shop-owning 'local' said that he had 'heared about
them hippy types' and how they 'do sex and stuff in doorways'. (I like
the 'and stuff') He further added that if he caught any of them 'at it
in his doorway like they do' then he'd 'let them have it' with his
shotgun. 'There's no place for that sort of thing on this island', he
posited. Sure. Not unless you're doing it with your sister, it appears.

I wish they'd show this again - I was *fucking* *paralysed* with
laughter watching it. Crazy place. Crazy festival.

Mike Dickson (tron@...) M400 #996
The Official Cynic of Streetly Electronics
Streetly Sample Library http://www.blackcat.demon.co.uk/tron/