The Mellotron Group

A lonely  widow, age 70, decided that it was time to get married again. She 
put an ad in  the local paper that read:  

HUSBAND WANTED: 
MUST BE IN MY AGE GROUP  (70's), 
MUST NOT BEAT ME, MUST NOT RUN AROUND ON  ME 
MUST STILL BE GOOD IN  BED!!!!! 
ALL APPLICANTS PLEASE APPLY IN  PERSON.  
 
 



On the second day, she heard the doorbell.  Much to her dismay, she opened 
the door to see a Grey-haired gentleman sitting  in a wheelchair. He had no 
arms or legs. 

The old woman said, 'You're not really  asking me to consider you, are you? 
Just look at you...you have no  legs! 



The old man smiled, 'Therefore, I cannot  run around on you!' 


She snorted. 'You don't have any arms  either!' 


Again, the old man smiled, 'Therefore, I  can never beat you!' 


She raised an eyebrow and asked intently,  'Are you still good in bed???' 


The old man leaned back, beamed a big  smile and said, 


'Rang the doorbell didn't  I?'


 
 
In a message dated 7/29/2010 1:47:37 P.M. Eastern Daylight Time,  
no_reply@yahoogroups.com writes:

No, I've got machines to do both!!! On  that subject, a couple of old 
jokes... 
Q - what do you call something you screw  on the bed and it does the 
housework? 
A - the wife!!! 
A young couple got  married and left on their honeymoon. When they got 
back, the bride immediately  called her mother on the telephone.  
"Well," said her mother, "how was the honeymoon?"  
"Oh, mama," she replied, "the honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic..."  
Suddenly she burst out crying. "But, mama, as soon as we returned, Sam started  
using the most horrible language - things I'd never heard before! I mean, 
all  these awful 4-letter words! You've got to come and get me and take me  ho
me...... PLEASE MAMA!"  
"Sarah, Sarah," her mother said, "calm down! Tell me, what could be so  
awful? What 4-letter words?"  
"Please don't make me tell you, mama," wept the daughter, "I'm so  
embarrassed - they're just too awful! COME, GET ME, PLEASE !!!"   
"Darling, baby, you must tell me what has you so upset...Tell your  mother 
these horrible 4-letter words!"  
Still sobbing, the bride said, "Oh, mama...words like: Dust,  Stil, Iron, 
Cook...."