Drummer Test
2003-09-05 by brown8700
Pass this along to some of your guitarist friends who think THEY are the only real musicians in the band! So, you think anyone can be a drummer? It is my hope that the following test will prove you wrong. First of all, sit down on a chair. I wouldn't want to be responsible for you falling and hurting yourself. But not just any chair! A small chair, with little cushioning and no back, and you have to balance your butt near the edge of it. Ready? Okay, here we go. Step 1: Pat yourself on the head rapidly with your right hand. Make sure it's a rapid pat, not some leisurely pat! Step 2: While still patting yourself on the head, begin rubbing your stomach with your left hand. This can be a slow rub, or a quick one. I'd suggest starting out slowly. Step 3: You're still sitting down, right? This is where it could get dangerous. With your right foot, tap out the melody to Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star while continuing to pat your head and rub your stomach. Step 4: Anything cramping yet? Now, with your left foot, tap out the melody to Mary Had a Little Lamb while continuing with Steps 1 - 3. Step 5: In one of your hands, while still performing all 4 steps, hold a long, slender object, and occasionally twirl it around without missing a beat. Step 6: This is the top level of the Drummer Test. While continuing Steps 1 - 5, sing the words to one of your favorite songs. Note: it is suggested that you start with singing the words to the songs in Steps 2 and 3. Step 7: Now that you can do all of that simultaneously, do it with brief breaks for two hours or more. Don't be alarmed. After months to years of practice, your muscles won't spasm like that anymore. And it is perfectly normal for your back to feel like it does right now. Still think anyone can be a drummer? I hope not. And I hope you'll think twice about using the phrase: "Just a drummer," ever again.