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>Date: Tue, 24 Dec 2002 11:06:06 -0000
>Subject: [electronicamanila] Top 40 Signs That You've Been Hanging Around
>Synths and Samplers Too Long
>Reply-To: electronicamanila@yahoogroups.com
>X-RCPT-TO: <elson@...>
>
>meri krismas!!!!
>
>lionel
>
>
>
>got this from post on livepa.org
>
>===========================
>
>The Top 40 Signs That You've Been Hanging Around Synths and Samplers
>Too Long:
>
>40. You not only tap in time to the indicators on your car, but know
>how many BPM they flash at.
>
>39. You go to hear an orchestra with your girlfriend, and while she
>listens to the beautiful music, you calculate the polyphony required
>to reproduce it.
>
>38. In addition to your in and out trays at work, you also have one
>marked 'thru'.
>
>37. Last Christmas you synced your Christmas tree lights to your TB-
>303.
>
>36. The accelerator on your car has aftertouch.
>
>35. Your cat's name is Octave.
>
>34. You expect the cutoff frequency of your door to change when you
>turn the knob...
>
>33. Your girlfriend/wife drapes a wig over your favorite synth to
>remind you what she looks like.
>
>32. You step out of your studio and realize that your family moved
>and you don't have a clue when it happened.
>
>31. You have "Frequency" and "Resonance" tattooed above your nipples.
>(Don't ask where the pitchbend is...)
>
>30. Your daughter's new boyfriend has tattoos, rides a Harley, and
>doesn't have a job. But you don't mind because his name is Roland.
>
>29. Your telephone answering machine message took 2 days to write
>and produce.
>
>28. There is no couch, coffee table, dinner table or chairs in your
>apartment; only racks, mixers, keyboards, cables and power cords.
>
>27. You have bass bins for end tables.
>
>26. It is dangerous to walk around in your own living room at night.
>(See 2
>
>25. There's a giant yellow ball in the sky, and your not quite sure
>what it is, but when you go outside it burns out you retinas and
>makes your skin glow.
>
>24. You wait until 12:01 A.M. to read the on-line music classified
>ads and can effectively scan them in under a minute.
>
>23. You never answer the phone. (Hmm...I wonder if it's to get
>people to listen to the answering message you spent so much time on
>in 29?)
>
>22. When all your significant other has to say, "Oh no, not another
>one" and you know what they're talking about.
>
>21. If you just like to sit in the dark and watch all the pretty
>lights blink and glow.
>
>20. If you perk-up on Sundays when you hear the word "Prophet".
>
>19. You would rather fiddle with your synthesizer's knobs than
>fiddle with your girlfriend's/wife's knobs.
>
>18. Somehow, you haven't been able to budget for clothes for 2+
>years, but you have found thousands of dollars to buy gear.
>
>17. Your girlfriend/wife goes to bed, You go to your STUDIO.
>
>16. Your friends say "Why would you pay $XXX for that piece of
>crap?" and you glare back and actually get offended...
>
>15. You can tell the difference between 12dB/24dB filters by ear...
>
>14. You prefer "analog" instead of "digital" home appliances
>because 'they just work better '
>
>13. You start wondering if you can obtain a 24 db neural implant to
>filter your ever-increasing tinnitus problem.
>
>12. You devise a method of connecting your CV sequencer to a mains
>relay to trigger the coffee machine every 1,024 gate pulses
>
>11. Every piece of clothing you own has a synth manufacturers logo
>on it. You scam them for free every trade show you attend. This
>allows more money for the important things in life.
>
>10. Your wife/girlfriend leaves you. You go into a depression for a
>while, then decide you can win her back with a simple, touching and
>heartfelt song, written especially for her. 6 months later, you are
>still mixing it.
>
>9. You go to a trade show. You rush over to the brand new synth on
>display, fiddle for 5 minutes, declare it "a piece of crap" and then
>go on to tell the company reps how it works, where the PCM samples
>came from, and offer to do them better samples from your own analog
>wardrobes, all in a very loud voice. They give you an embroidered
>tour jacket on the condition that you go away NOW. (see 11)
>
>8. Synth manufacturers call YOU for technical support.
>
>7. First thing you think of after sex is turning on your synths.
>
>6. You get excited about talking electronic toys and try to subvert
>them into saying bad words or doing weird stuff so you can sample
>them.
>
>5. You dream of finding a $50.00 Moog 55 at a garage sale, and after
>you've thought of it, you stop at every one you see!
>
>4. You carry around a picture of your modular in your wallet to show
>everyone.
>
>3. Your monthly power bill is always in the triple digits.
>
>2. You have a rack-mounted microwave oven.
>
>...and the the #1 sign that you've been hanging around synths and
>samplers too long:
>-You understand every last term and joke used in this article!
>
>- synctank
>
- 30 -
: . elson trinidad, los angeles, california, usa
: .
elson@... : www.westworld.com/~elson
: . groove to the futurethnic beats of e:trinity at www.e-trinity.org and
www.mp3.com/etrinity
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