[sdiy] SDIY-OT: Acrimony on the list

[Dave Manley]

My apologies to the list in advance.

cheater cheater wrote:
> Hi Dave,
>
> On Tue, Mar 23, 2010 at 07:29, Dave Manley <dlmanley at sonic.net> wrote:
>   
>> I'm probably missing the big picture here because I haven't been paying
>> attention since these long-winded discussions often devolve into a lesson in
>> logic and pointless point-counterpoint style argument, or perhaps the thread
>> has veered off topic as they are want to do [...]
>>     
>
> I hope the conversation doesn't devolve to this. 
That exchange was just a day ago. Apparently there are other 
devolutions* I should have mentioned, given the recent wave terrain 
thread (and please, please, please don't post a line-by-line defense of 
that mess).

Damian, I have to say in all honesty your presence is the catalyst for 
most of the acrimony on this list and others we have in common. SDIY was 
almost completely free of this sort of acrimony before you arrived back 
in June 2008. This isn't an attack. I'm not demeaning you. I really 
don't think this is opinion (you only irritated me personally once, long 
ago, in which case I swallowed my pride, and didn't respond to spare the 
list the noise). Instead of an attack, think of it as an intervention. 
I'm just stating what many others are unwilling to in public. I've just 
reviewed many of the prolific and often verbose posts you've made. Some 
are on-topic and helpful. Some are pointless, perhaps an attempt at 
humor, and no problem. Some are complete nonsense - showing a complete 
lack of understanding, or a willingness to do some basic studying before 
posting, ie "I've got to post something just for the sake of posting, 
even though I know nothing about the subject!". Some raise interesting 
questions, that lead to interesting discussions. But in a few of your 
posts you present unneeded attitude. These few are the problem. Like 
Samppa, it is just a few that are really a problem. In them, you lack 
tact, you lack humility, and there doesn't seem to be any sense of 
self-reflection. I had a colleague once who called this "open-loop 
behavior". No negative feedback. I encourage you to exercise a bit of 
introspection before posting - "Is it really necessary to respond in 
this way?" - or am I just posting more and more off-topic material, that 
will only further serve to alienate people from me? If you were in a 
room with the person, would you respond the same way? You are obviously 
bright, have a deep knowledge in certain areas, and can make a 
contribution, but your mail-list graces are simply put deficient.

Sometimes one has to ask the question: is there a reason why people 
treat me with hostility?

There's an acronym used on Wikipedia: DBAD.

And yes, I thought long and hard before posting this. And no, I'm not 
trying to be a dick. I found the following tid-bit in one of *your* 
posts from 2008 that seems applicable:

"With that said, I appreciate what you say and put great value into it 
and agree that my words may have been annoying. I am sorry for this and 
do admit that this was out of line [...] That said, this should not be 
mixed with interpersonal relationships and I hope in the future to 
better myself in my attempts to express that I do not want to touch the 
person, but the idea, in my divagations."

And now for something completely different a quote from a famous 20th century philosopher: "People, I just want to say, you know, can we all get along? Can we get along? [...] It’s just not right. It’s not right. It’s not, it’s not going to change anything.....Please, we can get along here. We all can get along. I mean, we’re all stuck here for a while. Let’s try to work it out. Let’s try to beat it. Let’s try to beat it. Let’s try to work it out."

I gotta go, my dog is annoyed that I'm ignoring him, and there's almost nothing worse than a whiny dog looking for attention.  :-)

-Dave (*Q: Are we not men? A: No, we are Devo!) Manley