[sdiy] O/T Hi-Fi Snake Oil - UKP700 power lead

[Altitude]

Brilliant! When's the IPO?

-----Original Message-----
From: synth-diy-bounces at dropmix.xs4all.nl
[mailto:synth-diy-bounces at dropmix.xs4all.nl] On Behalf Of Neil Johnson
Sent: Tuesday, August 24, 2010 8:14 AM
To: synth-diy at dropmix.xs4all.nl
Subject: Re: [sdiy] O/T Hi-Fi Snake Oil - UKP700 power lead

Hi,

My day job brings me close to our marketing guys, and some of it rubs
off.  For instance, allow me to introduce you to my new audio product:

-----------------------

The "Infinite Dimension 10A Terminated mains cable"

£299.95 per metre, sized and tuned to your specific system requirements.

Why 10A you ask?  Well, two-fold: firstly 13 is an unlucky number, and
we really strive hard to minimise the insipid effects this has on your
perception and the realisation of the tonal characteristics of your
audio installation.  Secondly, by dimensioning at 10A we provide a
healthy 30% overhead on your existing supply infrastructure.  This
gives considerable room to accommodate peaks in your audio content
without exhausting the supply system, ensuring the integrity of your
music collection.

These cables are constructed from two key components.  The core of the
cables is copper that has passed through the gut of the rare
dust-eating ground rat of deepest Patagonia.  The green copper-bearing
dust, eaten by the rat and passed through its digestive tract, filters
out impurities that might otherwise discolour the sound reproduction.

The 'processed pellets' are collected and then smelted by hand to
produce 1kg ingots, which are then shipped by pony to our underground
forges in the far Northern region of Canada, close to the North Pole
and bathed in the sun-powered radiation of the Northern Lights.  This
naturally-produced radiant ingredient brings a subtle warmth and
outstanding colour enhancement to your audio system.  No other
manufacturer of audio mains cables works to this level of detail.

The copper ingots are drawn by hand - we do not use the more modern
machines for this important step, relying instead on decades of
handed-down manual skill in producing the finest natural copper wires.
 These are then hand-woven by native virgins into a flexible copper
cord, each strand orientated to achieve optimum tuning.

The second key component is the insulation.  We do not use the common
PVC.  We do not use Teflon.  We use water.  That's right: water.  It
is little known that pure water is actually an insulator.  It is the
impurities found in common tap water, that make water conduct.  Our
Pure H2O has no such impurities, and as such provides what we believe
is the perfect audio insulator - no impurities, no long-chain carbon
composites, nothing that could possibly interfere with the delivery of
pure, clean power to your audio system components.

However, given the cleaning action of our pure water dielectric we
strongly recommend returning these cables to use for annual water
change and re-tuning to ensure the cleanliness is maintained.  Please
refer to our servicing department for pricing.

Finally, we do not believe in connectors.  They disrupt the flow of
energy into your system.  Instead, we terminate our cables in blocks
of silver-loaded chromium alloy.  These blocks are sized to match your
specific connection needs, be it UK 3-pin plugs, European IEC/Shuko
plugs, Japanese 2-pin plugs, we can match them all.  To fit, simply
insert the individual blocks into the corresponding receptacles.  A
tool (we jokingly call it "the pencil"!) is provided to aide the
insertion of the blocks into your system's power connectors.

To order, please quote order code "ID10T" and specify the exact length
of cable you need, ideally to within 0.01mm to ensure optimum tuning.

-----------------------

Or something like that.

Neil
--
http://www.njohnson.co.uk
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