[sdiy] Whoa ...... it's been way too long, since I left this list. :O :)

[Rykhaard D.A.M.I.A.N.]

Hey everybody. :)  (soft smile)  It's me, the former Ric Miller, of Aural
Research Facilities.  (Name changed legally to Ryk John Miller Thekreator,
in March 1999).

Before I write anything else, I would first like to get a hold of, those in
the past whom I had basically ...... 'ripped off'.  :(  I've been living
with guilt for that, for a few years now, and wish to take care of each of
those debts.  :( :(  And then, try to give you something of an explanation
at least, to what was happening, during that and following, unhappy period.
:O :(

1.  Someone, back in the late 90's, had sent me 'something' in a trade that
we had agreed upon, where once I received that which he'd sent me, I would
then send him 'something else' in 'equal return' for it.  The main problem
HERE, is I don't remember for sure, WHO it was.  Though - thanks to archive
searching at Mark Pulver's archive, "the Mac Doctor" had sent me email from
the year 2000, showing that it could possibly be, Tom Gamble (whom I emailed
last night, inquiring about this past trade, that never completed).  I
THINK, I know what the initial item was, and what the return item(s) were.
(Which I still have with me - stored SOMEwhere safely in this house, so that
I wouldn't LOOSE the item(s).  I just have to find, WHERE that 'safe place'
IS.  (sigh) )
Tom?  Was it, you??

2.  The person whom I believe I have the biggest debt to, that I wish to get
a hold of and complete (physically, or instead, financially) is Roy Tate.
He had prepaid me back in the late 1990s, to prepare for him, 4 rack panels,
each for an ASM-1 synth.  (Not the parts.  The panels, only.)  I never DID
complete drilling the 4 panels that I had gotten 1/2 way through drilling,
and still had them by the Summer of 2003, when I completed packing up the
house / land, north of Winnipeg that my then wife and I had purchased and
moved to, in November 2001.  At the end of packing everything, I finally
through out, the 4 panels, as I hadn't spoken with Roy in a few years. :( :(
I have in large bold lettering, a request for him to contact me to 'finish
our old business' at my new webpage.  (
http://deathlehem.bravehost.com/index.html )

3.  Someone - had purchased my 1st of 2 modular noise synthesizers (The
Deathlehem Modular Machine V5.00) before it was completed, at some point in
1998, if I remember correctly.  He had received the machine as it were,
before it was finished.  If you're still on this list, could you please get
a hold of me??

4.  At some point in the late 90's, I had first sent a Roland MC-4B off to
someone in Iceland, in direct trade for SOMEthing.  (I think it was for a
computer hard drive, but I'm not positive.)  I never did receive the item
that I'd sent the MC-4B sequencer off in trade, for.  At some time after
that, this person (Ola something???) had asked if I would function as the
'go between' for him.  He was to receive a dead Korg Polysix, from a person
in the U.S.  But due to something or other, with the postal service, he had
to have it shipped to Canada first.  (I can't remember WHY.  ??)  Once I
received it, I was then to send it over to him in Iceland.  I agreed to
this.
I had not yet received anything in trade for my MC-4B though.  So when I
received the Polysix, I kept it, until I received whatever it was that I was
TO receive, in our original trade.  Which I never did.  (I have since
dianosed the machine, to find out what was wrong with it - but haven't
repaired it.  I still have it, at a friend's place in Winnipeg.)

A lot of things happened between 1996, to 2003 that had caused a lot of
mental stresses and 'running away to hide from reality'. :(  In short:

May 19, 1996 - fiancee of 7 years, split us up
May 26, 1996 - rupture of a double brain anneurysm (almost 2 years to
physically and mentally heal (or so I thought, on the latter)
Mar 7, 1997 - my mother passing away
Aug - Nov, 1997 - an affair with a married couple (under her coaxing) which
ended a 10 year long, pair of best friends
Dec - Aug 1998 - a few very emotionally hard, short relationships
Oct 1998 - Nov 28th 2003 - one of the worst emotional relationships and
marriage (divorce 2 years ago today), that I'd ever had.  Basically running
away from everything in life; responsibilities; anything 'scary' and
essentially, mentally, hitting 'rock bottom'.

On December 26th, 2003, after 9 months of a wonderful online friendship
(only), I came out here (Kitchener, Ontario, Canada) to visit with my friend
Kimmie, to basically 'shake hands, and say hi'. :)  Over the 6 day, extended
to 11 days visit - things unintentionally, went further than that.
Coming home - 2 weeks of conversation online and the phone, basically
determined that I was moving out here, as we both wished to have a
relationship and family together. :)

On February 14th of this year, I started at my first electronics related
job, since 1996, and a 'happiness' that I hadn't completely felt in years,
returned. :)  An inner 'calmness'.  I'd found years ago, that building
things in electronics is a very calming / relaxing way to be. :)
On June 8th, headed to work - I came up with the idea (influenced by work)
of building a NEW modular synthesizer / noise machine.  Though - this one
would be a true 1V/octave machine is well. :)
I shortly there-after, joined synth-DIY again, for the first time in years,
and have been lurking ever since - progressively wishing to find those who I
had un-finished debts with, to finally get them taken care OF.

And THAT - is my main desire, right now. :O  I hope to be able to find the 4
that I've listed above, to get things finalized as soon as I'm able to.
That, has to be done.  I've carried this guilt that I created in the first
place, for WAY too long. :O :( :(

On to a hopefully happier note. :)  In email that I received from Magnus
Danielson this morning - he'd said it'd be nice if my original webpage was
restored.  I thought THAT, to be a WONDERFUL idea!  As my second biggest
hope, is to be able to help others, in any way that I'm able and willing to,
as I originally had been, between 1991 and 1998.  :)  (soft smile)

I've been officially building my new modular synth, D.A.M.I.A.N., since July
21st of this year, with his official 'birth' on July 22nd, when his power
supply was first turned on. :)
Now - he's a happy 12 modules large, happilly purring away through his
single (Tom Gamble) VCO 4D, tuned accurately over 5 octaves.

I've documented everything in his construction on the webpage in my
signature, as well as many, many other ideas that I'll be building over the
coming years.  :)
(I had converted completely to software, using Propellerhead's Reason, in
January 2001.  Progressively, missing modular synthesis more and more, until
my June 8th decision.)
I've now come back, finally, to modular synthesis and have no intentions of
leaving, ever again.  After all - I've been around electronics for almost my
entire life.  I'd like to know why - I left in the first place?  (Completely
in 1998 - with a single machine built between May and June 2001 - the
Deathlehem Modular Machine V6.00.  Recently gutted, for spare parts.)

And there we have it.  :)  (soft smile)  With my return to building - I have
NO intention of anything commercial.  :(  I have so little time to build as
it is, that any free time that I have here - I'm designing / theorizing and
building for myself only.
But - ALL schematics for every module that I build (and have built) will be
posted to my webpage, along with editorials, to hopefully be able to help,
anyone else that is interested. :)  As I'd originally done, with my original
webpage, between 1995 and 1998.  (Which I'll be restoring as MUCH as
possible, as I still have the textual data (but not photographic) of, to my
new webpage.)

One final person, that I've not been able tog et a hold of, with 3 email
this year, and 2 others over the previous 2 years - Mark Pulver - if you're
reading this?  Please email me??  Having looked at my most recent
Deathllehem machine this past Summer - seeing corrosion on the board, I
became worried about your modular - Five - that I'd built for you.  My
current offer is:

If a module of yours is NOT working - I will build a new temporary one for
use - mail it to you; THEN have you send me the original for repair or
rebuilding.  Once THAT is returned to you, then have you send me back the
temporary one.  And this would be, at no cost to you.

K.  Time to head out to work. :)
Finally - to those who had been ripped off by me in the past - an apology
wont cover much of anything, but I AM sorry, and wish to clear up those
debts.  Would the proper people related, please get a hold of me, so that I
can start taking care of this?

Oh yeah!  David Magnusson!  :D  I hope to get the package of the Casio SK-1;
CMOS chips; banana plugs; pad per hole PC boards, sent off to you before
Christmas.  Thank you, for not sending me anything YET, until you receive
what I'm sending. :)  There's been so little time so far, but I hope to get
it all packaged finally within the next couple of weeks. :)

--
Take care all,
Warmth and Peace,
Ryk :)
http://www.geocities.com/dolphinicus2003/damian.html - webpage of my new
modular synthesizer, D.A.M.I.A.N. :)
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