[sdiy] Synthophile Grade Components (was: vacuum tubes!!!)

[R. D. Davis]

Quothe harrybissell, from writings of Tue, Jun 14, 2005 at 09:23:30PM -0400:
> what... are you calling him an AUDIOphile ???   :^P
>
> (watch your mouth, buster :^)

Hey, better to be called an "audiophile" than a "golden eared
SYNTHOphile."

Hmmm... if there are any golden eared synthophiles on this list, I may
have some absolutely amazing devices to sell you for improving the
aural clarity, etc. of your synths, which may include the following:

- *synthophile grade* power cables - these are a drastic improvement
upon audiophile grade power cords.  In addition to improving the
purity of the sound of your equipment, these will also improve your
creativity and help the most spectacular of sounds and music to flow
from your mind to the outputs of your synth.  Also, synthophile grade
plugs and electrical outlets.  These work best however, in conjunction
with the following synthesis sonic enhancement components (SSECs):

- synthophile grade solder - some say that this is more important than
any cabling that you can purchase.  Only leaded synthophile grade
solder is presently available due the known aural benefits of lead in
the solder of classic vintage synths.  A reformulation is being
researched for when lead solder is outlawed in some places.

- synthophile grade soldering iron - provides the special delicate
solder melting capabilities that are needed with synthophole grade
solder.  A synthophile grade electrical outlet is highly recommended.

- synthophile grade MIDI cables; that's right, they help the bits
flowing through them to reach their destination with ultra-high
precision and less bit confusion caused by inferior-quality (e.g., 
computer quality) data cables. 

- synthophile grade banana plugs.  These plugs for golden eared
synthesis purists will help your signal flow through them better.
These specially engineered plugs are infused with essence of banana to
help the signals slip and slide through them for the ultimate in patch
connection quality.  They provide the smoothest of sounds when such
sounds are desired, but their internal slipperiness also helps with
gratings sounds, etc. when those are also desired.  The theory is
simple: you are undoubtedly aware of how easy it is to slip on a
banana peel, as seen on the Flintstones and Tom & Jerry cartoons,
right?  These must be used with synthophile grade banana plug cables -
see below.

- synthophile grade banana plug cables - needed for the aforementioned
plugs.  Also infused with essence of banana to help the signal slip
and slide through them for a smoother sound when smoother sounds, and
more pure other sounds, etc. are desired.

- synthophile grade audio cables; like our power cords, these are also
an improvement upon the most remarkable sounding of any audiophile
grade cables available.

- synthophile grade keyboard, knob and switch spray - spray this on all
of your keys, knobs and switches to improve the precision of contact
quality between them and your fingers.  Too many important benefits to
list here!

- synthophile grade vacuum tube black-light illuminators (VaTuBLIs)
These miniature florescent black-light bulbs get mounted inside the
chasis of synth.  equipment and amplifiers, etc. that use tubes.  The
sonic improvements that these make are beyond what you can imagine.
The purity and overall quality of the sounds will increase
dramatically; some say these even increase creativity and musical
abilities!  If you've ever sat in a black-light lit room, playing your
synth while looking at the glowing tubes, you'll understand the vital
difference these make!  Note: they work better when you do other
things as well to make your synthesis a truly psychedelic experience!

:-) :-) :-)

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