[sdiy] Feline synthesis problems

[Richard Wentk]

A millennium or so ago when I used to have a synth repair gig in a music 
store, I'd see all kinds of weird and occasionally wonderful examples of 
that species called The Public. And their synth problems.

One of my favourites was the JX3P that wouldn't stay in tune. Now, the JX3P 
used DCOs, so pitch drift wasn't supposed to be an option. But the thing 
would howl like a banshee when you tried to play anything. [1]

Very strange. I opened it up, poked around some and then noticed that there 
was a definitely a not very synth-like - well, smell - coming from 
somewhere inside.

Okay. People do weird things to keyboards. Using them as an emergency 
restroom wasn't one I'd come across before. So I decided to do the smart 
thing - pack it up back in its box, wash my hands ten times, and pass it on 
to the guys at Roland. And ask the guy who owned it (a rather dorky toy 
shop owner who wasn't popular with anyone in the store) what the story was.

But one of my colleagues beat me to it. We'd all been snickering childishly 
about the thing, then toy shop guy came in. In a futile attempt at looking 
at least somewhat professional we stifled any guffaws and stopped the jokes 
about porcelain synthware. 'How's the synth?' he asked. We explained it was 
beyond the reach of our small and humble outfit and was going back to the 
big guys. Then the conversation drifted, as it often did with him.

A few paragraphs later one of the guys I was working with asked 'So - how 
are the pets?'

It turned out the toy shop owner was also a cat owner. In fact he had five 
of them. Cats like warm places, and the top of a JX3P can definitely get 
quite cosy when it's been on for a while. So warm cat -> relaxed cat -> 
very relaxed cat -> unique synth problem you'll never see mentioned in a 
service manual.

Moral - it's not just stuff going in at one end you need to worry about. 
Stuff coming out the other can be a synth problem too.

Richard

[1] Yeah, I'm guessing the extra fluid component provided a leakage path 
for the digitally controlled charging cap. It looks like a reasonable 
theory, but to be honest I'm glad I'll never really know for sure. :)