[sdiy] OT- Free Range Electrons

[Martin Czech]

This sounds very good to me. I mean I always wonder why I keep on
to spend all my time designing electronic chips ehich is cumbersome
and very costly. Not to speak of the debugging. And then we get 
only a few bucks per chip.

Toby, this is a great business idea. I think the gain/effort ration
will be much much larger then what I do now.

May I participate as your exclusive representative for Germany?
I can tell that we have lots of fools arround here that would be lucky
to spend a fortune on your nice devices.

I'd also recommend to sell/use worn out electron detectors.
You need: 

-old radio teleskope antenna
-lots of old pots with shiny knobs
-cool looking alu enclosure
-battery
-reserve batterie
-led
-resistor
-reed contact
-little magnet

Mount all the pots and the antenna. Don't worry, you don't need to wire
them. They do nothing. Next mount the led resistor reed batt circuit.
Approaching some spot on the enclosure with the little magnet gives:
A RED LIGHT. QUANTUM alarm. Worn out electrons.  I think you get the
idea. It works the same as the fraud radar detectors they sell from the
trunk. You just point the device to the hifi gear of the poor victim
and manipulate the magnet (invidible).

I think you can imagine even cooler aparati.

The best thing is, that it REALLY works. Journalists attended the
anual esoteric fair here in Freiburg Germany, the esoteric capital of
Germany somehow.  They did similar things and collected arround 200-500
USD per item.  Some customers wouldn't even believe that it was all lies
if they where told so afterwards. "I feel that this apparatus really works,
I feel much better now".

m.c.


:::Are the electrons in your audio system worn out? 
:::Are they tired? Stale? Brittle? Bored? You need 
:::FRESH ELECTRONS. You need the Pronteon 
:::Free Range Electron Collection System (tm). 
:::Revitalize the audio path with clean new
:::energetic electrons. You'll be convinced you 
:::can hear the difference.
:::
:::FAQ
:::
:::What are Free Range Electrons (tm)?
:::Free Range Electrons (tm) are gathered from an 
:::open environment where they are free to roam as 
:::nature intended. In most audio systems the electrons 
:::are trapped in the circuitry and go round and round 
:::and round until they lose dynamism. Free Range Electrons 
:::have been spending their time getting their subatomic selves 
:::in order. They're perky. They're happy. Just as free range
:::chickens taste better and better milk comes from contented 
:::cows, Free Range Electrons sound better. We're sure of it.
:::
:::How does the system work?
:::Most audio systems use transformers that isolate the circuits 
:::from supply power. The electrons have no path to the outside 
:::world. (Not even through the power cord. But that's fine. You 
:::don't want those electrons. You don't know where they've been.) 
:::The Pronteon Free Range Electron Collection System
:::uses a very specially constructed electrode with a very specific high
:::voltage to collect Free Range Electrons (attached to negative ions) 
:::from the air. This injects fresh electrons via a custom multi megohm 
:::resistive device to the audio circuit. A second matched resistive 
:::device drains off excess electrons to a custom earth grounding rod.
:::
:::That electrode looks like a plant. What is it?
:::Each highly esoteric electrode is designed to fit the individual 
:::customer's needs. In testing hundreds of electrode styles, we 
:::have found that the seed pods of some plants develop a very 
:::effective and complex electric field. This allows the collector to 
:::operate at a lower voltage, generating a "soft plasma"(tm) which 
:::will not bruise the electrons. Seems that plants know a
:::thing or two about using electric fields. Most organic electrodes 
:::employ a vacuum deposited gold coating. It is possible to use 
:::live plants as collectors, but will require periodic system calibration. 
:::Our electrode shop will work with you to develop your personal 
:::electrode statement.
:::
:::My audio system is all tube. Would I benefit?
:::Absolutely. It's tough duty inside a tube. Getting boiled off in a 
:::vacuum, pushed, pulled, slammed into a plate, you think that's 
:::easy on an electron? If the speaker outputs are transformer coupled, 
:::naturally you will want additional matched collection systems for the 
:::speaker circuits.
:::
:::Do non-audio systems need Free Range Electrons?
:::Ummm.. well.... ahhh... YES, yes they do. We can design a 
:::collector system for anything you feel needs the benefit of 
:::Free Range Electrons (tm).
:::
:::Do you have a price list? 
:::No. System prices are determined by a very complex equation 
:::that includes variables such as:
:::- Your apparent budget.
:::- How cool we think you are.
:::- How esoteric your system is.
:::- Your listening environment.
:::We will provide a field team to carefully and fully analyze your 
:::listening environment. This can take quite some time. 
:::Your providing the team with suitable refreshments is an important 
:::step to a superb end result. 
:::Rest assured it will be expensive. 
:::Otherwise, where would the fun be?