otp Re: For all Yanks on the list.

[booey chewy]

this is off topic but oh so tempting

Yes, and now all of us "yanks" can begin eating
vegemite and marmalade, and "lardy bread". For surely
english food is the greatest in the world. We can call
people blokes and watch ab-fab. What english accent
are you speaking of? You see the "english language" is
stratified based on geographical, class, etc
distinctions. If you study socio-linguistics you will
find that eaxh of these accents has its own proper and
rightful syntactic structure. American english,
suprisingly enough, is closer to shakespearean english
than british english is. Then you get into the whole
cajun english, southern english, New England english.
Our language distinctions are part of what makes us
all human, now lets all eat some chips, and tel' al
those prity blokes in da u-s-a ta go an piss off.


all in good fun of course, todd
:)
--- Mark Abbott <Mark.Abbott at crc-comms.com> wrote:
> 
> In the light of your failure to elect a President of
> the USA and thus to
> govern yourselves, we hereby give notice of the
> revocation of your
> independence, effective today.
> 
> Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume
> monarchial duties over
> all states, commonwealths and other territories.
> Except Utah, which she does
> not fancy. Your new prime minister (The Rt. Hon.
> Tony Blair, MP for the
> 97.85% of you who have until now been unaware that
> there is a world outside
> your borders) will appoint a minister for America
> without the need for
> further elections. Congress and the Senate will be
> disbanded.
> 
> A questionnaire will be circulated next year to
> determine whether any of you
> noticed.
> 
> To aid in the transition to a British Crown
> Dependency, the following rules
> are introduced with immediate effect:
> 
> 1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford
> English Dictionary. Then
> look up "aluminium" . Check the pronunciation guide.
> You will be amazed at
> just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it.
> Generally, you should raise
> your vocabulary to acceptable levels.  Look up
> "vocabulary". Using the same
> twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises
> such as "like" and "you
> know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of
> communication. Look up
> "interspersed" .
> 
> 2. There is no such thing as "US English" . We will
> let Microsoft know on
> your behalf.
> 
> 3. You should learn to distinguish the English and
> Australian accents. It
> really isn't that hard.
> 
> 4. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast
> English actors as the
> good guys.
> 
> 5. You should relearn your original national anthem,
> God Save The Queen, but
> only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not
> want you to get confused
> and give up half way through.
> 
> 6. You should stop playing American football. There
> is only one kind of
> football. What you refer to as American football is
> not a very good game.
> The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world
> outside your borders
> may have noticed that no one else plays American"
> football. You will no
> longer be allowed to play it, and should instead
> play proper football.
> Initially, it would be best if you played with the
> girls. It is a difficult
> game.
> 
> Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed
> to play rugby (which is
> similar to American football, but does not involve
> stopping for a rest every
> twenty seconds or wearing full kevlar body armour
> like nancies). We are
> hoping to get together at least a US rugby sevens
> side by 2005.
> 
> 7. You should declare war on Quebec and France,
> using nuclear weapons if
> they give you any merde. The 97.85% of you who were
> not aware that there is
> a world outside your borders should count yourselves
> lucky. The Russians
> have never been the bad guys. Merde is French for
> "shit".
> 
> 8. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November
> 8th will be a new
> national holiday, but only in England. It will be
> called Indecisive Day.
> 
> 9. All American cars are hereby banned. They are
> crap and it is for your own
> good. When we show you German cars, you will
> understand what we mean.
> 
> 10. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving
> us crazy.
> 
> Thank you for your cooperation.
> 


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